10. you do not have the proper training and the certification is too expensive.
9. slippery slope: if you start taking baths people might start expecting you to change your clothes, have manners, brush your teeth, drive on the right side of the road, stay awake at work, no end to what it might lead to.
8. for the ten year old boys, you need to eat more beans so you can have a 'proper' bubble bath
7. you are trying to be environmentally conscious and your neighbors keep visiting. This is what they call a two for one.
6. most of them are heavy and you will probably need someone's help carrying it out the door and if you already have one why do you need to take another one?
5. life is short enough already. Make it taller add some dirt.
4. after all that soap and water your clothes will no longer have the needed friction additives to stay on and you are so sexy already. Also, by not taking the bath, you will probably not see yourself naked which will help maintain this delusion as well as preserve your eyesight.
3. aged wines, cheeses, etc., get better and more expensive with time so the worse you smell and the longer your natural odors are allowed to mature the more valuable you will become and in time you will mature into a beautiful aroma sought after all around the world.
2. the plumbing already has to deal with you using the potty chair
1. you lost your rubber ducky
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